Tuesday, 28 May 2013

End Of Season Seeding

Nick wins HBP's 2013 spring league. Well done to everyone who took part.

The new season starts next week. Same time.....same place.

"Mix It Up" Sunday 26th May 2013

A great result for young Jack and Dean this week. Both sharing joint second.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

End of Season Hottie

Today is the last day of the season. Nick “the shouty one” 
had comfortably secured 1st place.

Adam is not attending this week but has already guaranteed himself 3rd place. He could still get second if Kol has a disastrous week. Kol only needs to finish 5th or above to keep his second place spot. No pressure on Kol then.

Mr Roger was on blistering form last week aided by the introduction of his new mallet which must be at least 6 foot long giving him a very good reach around.

Its going to be a tough battle this week between Mr Roger and Dean “Double Dean” Dent. Both are tied in 4th place. Whoever finishes the highest in today’s session will take 4th spot but don’t get complacent boys, a good result for Bryan today could see you both crash and burn. 

Temperatures are expected to reach 18 degrees today and that big yellow glowing thing is the sky is going to be visible. Whoo!

Dig out your Bikini’s its going to be a hot one!

Monday, 20 May 2013

Seeding 19th May 2013

It looks like its all going to go down to the last session of the season. Nick is still out front. Kol and Adam have once again swapped 2nd and 3rd. Mr Roger and Dean are joint 4th after a great week for Mr Roger. Can't wait for next week... a couple of great battles will be decided.

"Mix It Up" Sunday 19th May 2013

Well, well, well can you believe it ... what a turn up for the books ...Mr Roger Comes in first and that "Double Dean" Dent gets 2nd. Another great session well done everyone.

It must have been all down to Mr Roger's extra long mallet.

Sunday, 19 May 2013

It's a Gibbon

Only two more weeks until the end of the "Mix It Up" spring league and Nick is way out front. After a lot of calculations it would appear that Nick's #1 spot "is a gibbon" and he shall be crowned League Champion in two weeks time.

Adam has made a valiant attempt to take the number one spot but after a couple of weeks of poor results he now finds himself in a second place struggle with Kol. In a recent statement Adam said, "I'm taking my bat and ball home. Dummy has been spat out. I'm not playing anymore. **sulking**." Kol had a terrible week last week and managed to come last and drop from second to third. He did keep his cool though and managed to get through the whole session without getting angry or throwing his bike around. Reports are that later on that day he took his anger out on a sculpture of a Hippopotamus  Eye witnesses said that the devastation left after his outburst was an outrage and "No animal should be treated like that...even if it is made of concrete. The hippopotamus has since requested a DNA test.

Return of the "River Horse". Young Jack makes his return today after missing last weeks session. With a lack of shouting last week we are looking forward to Jack's return. Bring on those calls of "Get out of the way Jack!"and "Other way Jack".

A huge mid table battle is taking place at the moment Dean "Double Dean" Dent, Bryan "Head Up Bryan", Col "Big Red and Mr Roger are all in contention for the third place spot. A good result for any of them today could see dramatic changes in the table. Our pundits have been hard at work and "Big Red" is their favourite to succeed this week, Bryan and Mr Roger will be battling hard all the way to the final week and Dean "Double Dean" Dent will fall off a lot and miss a lot of open goals.


Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Seeding 12th May 2013

A bad week for Kol dropping down to 3rd. Dean had a good week moving up into 4th spot. Mr Roger drops to 5th and is followed by Bryan who, after a great session this week, stays in 6th spot only because he has played less games than Mr Roger. Averages improved for Nick, Dean, Bryan and Col (Big Red). The "Summer League" starts at the beginning of June so only 2 more weeks to improve your averages.

The Wash Out

A bit of a wash out last Sunday. We only managed to get through 8 games before rain stopped play. Let's hope for better weather next week.

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Keep Calm and Play Polo

Well after last weeks diabolical exhibition by Kol, Nick and Adam it has been suggested that they all take anger management classes.

Kol has promised (for the third time) not to get grumpy this week. We will see how that goes. I did see him spill his cup of tea this morning which resulted in a lot of 4 letter words. I also mentioned to him that when writing this blog he should stop referring to himself in the third person to which he replied "Who the f**k are you?" and "I am the Mallard Keeper...twisted Mallard Keeper".

Adam's not available this week. Official sources say that his absence is "work" related but the rumour mill suggests that he is either still sulking or "just scared of it".

Young Jack is also absent this week. I wonder who is going to step up and take Jack's role of "getting in the way". Its a tough role to fill but I'm sure someone will manage. Also Nick will have to find someone else to shout at this week. Maybe without Jack around to shout at he may be a bit calmer this week.

Dean "Mousebladder, Wounded Knee, Sick Boy, Double Dean" Dent is going to be a little teeny bit hungover today after a heavy drinking session. I think we need a shorter nickname for him. Could be a good day to wind him up and push him round the court a bit. Let's see how many times he falls off. I personally have never got drunk on Babycham.

As always we meet at Welly Lane Hardcourt at 2pm

Get out of the way .......

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Seeding 6th May

A disastrous week for Adam. He now drops to 3rd. Kol (despite being the grumpiest person ever) climbs to 2nd. Nick, Kol, Dean and Jack's averages all improve and Adam, Mr Roger, Bryan and Mark must do better.

Grumpy Grumpy Grumpy

This must have been the grumpiest week ever. Adam started with a few whinges, Kol totally spat his dummy out, Nick tried to throw everything out of the court and Adam got very grumpy towards the end. As always "Young Jack" was the happiest and laughed at everything.

Dean did exceptionally well in the 2 v 2 mix.

All of Dean's good work in the 2 v 2 was wasted in the 3v3. He only managed to get 7th. At the start of the day Adam was in 2nd place in the overall seeding. Coming in 5th in the 2 v 2 and 6th in the 3 v 3 is going to have an effect on his position.

Team B just beat Team A but only on goal difference.

Apart from the grumpiness, it was another great polo session. I think all that sun we had may have caused the grumpiness. We're not used to those temperatures in Hull.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Sulking Until Sunday

Hull Bicycle Polo's statistician and ECB Bruisers team member Kol suffered a humiliating defeat at Thursday's Swanland session.

After only winning 1 out of 8 games he resorted to riding round in circles, mumbling to himself and refusing to talk to anyone. Even "Young Jack" won more games than him and "Young Jack" always comes last.
Kol refused to answer me when I questioned him after the Thursday session. He did later release a statement in which he said, "I should never have lent my spare mallet to Jack....its the last time I help him out the little *********" and "I believe that the adverse conditions contributed to my performance. Smooth courts, sunshine and toilet facilities threw me. I'm used to potholes, gravel and young obnoxious kids shouting abuse and throwing rocks at me...also the no swearing rule we imposed left me feeling stifled". Kol has promised to improve his mood for this Sunday's "Mix It Up" session.

In other news we see the return of Mr Roger, Adam, Mark and Bryan. Big Red will be absent this week due to a planned heavy drinking session. I always found that heavy drinking improved my game.

As always the Mix It Up session is at 2pm at Welly Lane Hardcourt.

Its gonna be a hot one tomorrow. Temperatures estimated to get up to 17 degrees. Kol's may get a bit higher.

Friday, 3 May 2013

Smooth Like Swanland

Last nights session at Swanland Playing Fields was a huge success. The playing surface is so smooth and very fast. Normally we are used to the ball bouncing of potholes and gravel flying off the ground. None of that last night. A great venue with facilities and great staff. We are looking forward to taking part in the Summer Gala on July 14th. Hopefully we will be holding "have a go sessions" and a mini tournament. Great fun!!

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Swanland Taster Session

We are off up to Swanland this Thursday (2nd May) to have a go on the Swanland Playing Fields super smooth hardcourt. The netball posts have now been removed so the court is all ready to go. We are taking the van which can seat six people and take lots of bikes. If you want to join us in the van let us know. Alternatively meet us there. It should be a good session.